Mission Statement Anyone?

[TheBrownRecluse]

Alright, since this seems to need doing, I was thinking of starting work on our mission statement. My questions are, how formal/informal do we want this and how much are we going to include? I've started a shortlist of points to address, but I would be happy to entertain suggestions.

[TheBrownRecluse]

This is what I've come up with so far. Please please please feel free to offer feedback, edit and rearrange as you will.


"SEE Trek Love is a fan-based movement for the equal representation of sexual minorities in mainstream media; through our combined efforts, we hope to gather enough support to petition for the inclusion of fair representation of sexual minorities in the upcoming Star Trek films, continuing the precedence set by the Star Trek franchise in the past of working toward a vision of an idealistic future where love is not limited by boundaries of race or gender, and in doing so, garnering awareness and acceptance for sexual minorities in the present."

[Lance]

Hey, sorry it took me a second. I do like this mission statement, however it could be less wordy perhaps. I'll let the editors go to town, but I want to stress the word advocate in everything we do. So, instead of "for," write "that advocates."

One other thing to make it less wordy: Instead of "and in doing so," you can just say, "thus."

Just two ideas. Very, very nice start though!

[tinuelena]

Awesome start!! :)

SEE Trek Love is a fan-based movement which advocates for the equal representation of sexual minorities in mainstream media. We seek fair representation of sexual minorities in the upcoming Star Trek films, continuing the precedence set in the past by the Star Trek franchise of working toward a vision of a future where love is not limited by boundaries of race or gender.

"representation of sexual minorities" is repeated twice... I couldn't think of anything to replace it.

[Terry Shayar]

SEE Trek Love is a fan-based movement which advocates for the equal representation of sexual minorities in mainstream media. We seek fair representation of sexual minorities in the upcoming Star Trek films, continuing the precedence set in the past by the Star Trek franchise of working toward a vision of a future where love is not limited by boundaries of race or gender.

Change the second one to "these minorities" instead? Just a thought, since sexual minorities twice in a row sounds a little awkward. And it should be we seek the fair representation.... I think. That would sound better.

Are we gonna add anything else to show that we may decide to do other projects as well, and not just Star Trek?

[M'Lady Godiva]

"SEE Trek Love is a fan-based movement which advocates for the equal representation of sexual minorities in mainstream media. We seek fair representation of sexual minorities in the upcoming Star Trek films, continuing the precedence set in the past by the Star Trek franchise of working toward a vision of a future where love is not limited by boundaries of race or gender."

A few minor changes (perhaps),

SEE Trek Love is a fan-based movement advocating the equal representation of sexual minorities in mainstream media. Specifically, we seek the fair representation of these minorities in subsequent Star Trek films, thus continuing the precedence previously established by the Star Trek fanchise of working toward a future where love is not limited by boundaries of race or gender.

It's not exactly less wordy, but if any of the changes seem to work...:)

[tinuelena]

I like it. *applause*

[Lance]

SEE Trek Love is a fan-based movement advocating the equal representation of sexual minorities in mainstream media. Specifically, we seek the fair representation of these minorities in subsequent Star Trek films, thus continuing the precedence previously established by the Star Trek fanchise of working toward a future where love is not limited by boundaries of race or gender.

[my changes in italics]

SEE Trek Love is a fan-based movement advocating the fair and equal representation of sexual minorities in mainstream media, specifically in subsequent Star Trek films, thus continuing the precedence previously established by the Star Trek fanchise of envisioning a future wherein love is not limited by boundaries of race or gender.

This is really coming along. Thoughts?

[Xerxies]

I like Lance's current version the best. Not just because it was the last, either, but because I think it has the best flow and is the most condensed while retaining the necessary information.

[tinuelena]

Yes.

(Apparently I am not allowed to have a message less than 10 characters. Interesting.) :confused:

[Terry Shayar]

Don't you mean fascinating? XDD

Lance's version is good, but can we make it two sentences instead? It's a little long, and run-on sentences aren't as effective as more concise, shorter sentences. Any takers?

[M'Lady Godiva]

"SEE Trek Love is a fan-based movement advocating the fair and equal representation of sexual minorities in mainstream media, specifically in subsequent Star Trek films, thus continuing the precedence previously established by the Star Trek fanchise of envisioning a future wherein love is not limited by boundaries of race or gender."

I also like Lance's version, but if it were to be two sentences, then maybe:

SEE Trek Love is a fan-based movement advocating the fair and equal representation of sexual minorities in mainstream media, specifically in subsequent Star Trek films. We endeavor to continue the precedence previously established by the Star Trek franchise of envisioning a future wherein love is not limited by boundaires of race or gender.

How does that sound?

[Lance]

@M'Lady Godiva, Yes. That is very good. Anyone else?